October 22, 2012
You woke up at 3:48 am with a cry; me being Mama I’ve learned what your different cries mean. It’s strange, I can tell by the pitch, fervor, sound what is going on and what you need. Before you were born, people told me I would learn. Over time I would know what was a hungry, sad, scared, tired, angry cry – each different in their own way. Last night, it was a cry of pain, I think those darn teeth (your lower molars) are trying to make their way into your mouth and are giving you a fit full of pain.
When I came in you just looked at me with a sad expression and reached your arms up to me. As I lifted you up you snuggled close knowing that everything would be okay because Mama was there. I gave you your “teethy medicine” (Orajel) and we settled into the rocking chair to see if you would go back to sleep.
As you very well know by now, you are a wiggle worm. You are constantly on the go and won’t sit on my lap or allow anyone to rock you. In one way it makes me proud as I see your fierce independence and I am so amazed at how much you have grown and learned. The other side of me feels the bittersweet tinge of reality that my little peanut is growing up. I say at that to say that last night, you let me rock you. You laid your head against my chest and sucked on your fingers as you do when you’re tired. You would occasionally look up at me as if to check and see if I was still there. You then moved to lay in my arms, as I cradled you I found myself amazed at how big you had gotten. The legs that used to barely reach across my lap now dangle off to the side. For what seemed like forever you just laid in my arms and stared at me, as if you were memorizing me in that very moment. You reached up and touched my nose, my lips, and my hair – as if to be sure I was not just a dream. In that moment I didn’t care that in an hour the alarm would go off to tell me I needed to get up and start my morning routine (shower, get dressed, pack lunches, etc.). In that moment time stood still and you were my peanut again; I need those little reminders for the days when you’re testing limits and being “curious” … I am thankful for those moments when time stands still and I am reminded that you are and will always be my little boy and I will always be your Mama, a title I treasure with every fiber of my being.Love,