Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Little Moments & Forever Memories - 1.30.2013

The summer I was 13 my Dad promised me we would go to Hershey Park (for those not from the East Coast it's a theme park in Hershey, PA).  My dad did odd jobs for the neighbors all summer - driving little old ladies to their doctor's appointments, fixing the neighbors steps, handy man kind of things.  All the money he earned from this he set aside specifically for our trip. 

When the day came I was so excited.  When I asked why my mother and sister weren't joining us on our adventure, my Dad shook his head and said they wouldn't enjoy it.  (I think he just wanted a day for me and him, even more so he wanted to go and I was his best buddy along for the ride).

We arrived at the park (a 2+ hour or so drive from our home) when the gates opened and didn't leave until the park closed for the night.  We rode every ride we wanted, some repeatedly over and over again.  We screamed on rollar coasters and giggled all day long.  Our day was filled with feasts of hot dogs, cotton candy and funnel cake.  This is a day that I will always remember.  As we drove home, I kept reliving the day in my mind and talking to him about all the fun we had.

As we came in the house that night, my mother was in the kitchen and the expression on her face was not a happy one.  She asked my Dad how much we spent on our little adventure - I learned in that moment that my parents did not see things the same way.  I realized that my mom thought it was frivolous to do what we did and spend the money we spent.  In that moment, I spoke up and said something so profound I couldn't believe it came from 13 year old me - in the most "matter-a-fact" tone I uttered these words:

"Mom, you can always get more money; you can't always get more memories"

With that I turned and went to my room.

These words that I uttered back then have been etched on my very soul since then.  Life is about the simple things - usually they don't cost much money but have a lasting impression and create the most wonderful of memories.

Buying ice cream off the ice cream truck in the summer
Going to the park
Spending TIME with my son

All this is background to what I really want to tell you today:

Last night, I had 2 whole giggle filled hours with my little guy.  Daddy went off to Bible Study and it was just the two of us (+ the dog).  Alex has mastered turning the Ipod Jux Box on and off and he turned it on last night (Ke$ha was set to play).  I began to dance around like a fool and before I knew it Alex came up, took me by both hands and begain to dance along with me.  He grinned up at me and wiggled back and forth.  We ended the night playing with cars on his ramp in the basement, followed by bath (his FAVORITE thing) and bed.

Lately our nights together have been busy and our time together has not been very long. I've noticed him being clingy at bedtime, wrapping his arms tightly around my neck and nuzzling into me.  He will cry when I place him in his crib with his blankie; he's tired, wants to go to sleep but his desire to spend time with Mommy trumps all that.  He misses me and it breaks my heart.  I work full time, which is the best thing for my family right now, for 4 years I was the sole provider - alot of pressure.  Last night was just the salve for both of ours souls; when I laid him down last night he gladly welcomed the embrace of his crib and looked up at me with a smile in his eyes and across his face. 

He may not remember tonight when he is all grown, but I will and it's these little moments - dancing around the living room with my boy - that I will cherish forever. 

Today's little moments become tomorrow's precious memories.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

17 Months - January 2013

January 16, 2013
Dear Alex,
Happy 17 Months baby boy!  You have grown so much and embody the label “toddler” a little too well for Mama’s liking.  You are still your happy giggly self who makes his presence known.  You are continuing to become more and more independent and are growing into quite a little person.
Your love of books is continuously growing – you will pick one out, bring it over and hand it to me.  Then you will proceed to plant yourself either beside me or in my lap and go through the book.  Once this one is done (if you find it interesting enough to let me get all the way through) you will then get up and select another and the process starts all over.  Your current go to favorite is:
Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?
-          You know duck and dog by name and the sound of dog, cat, sheep and fish.  As we go through the book, you wait excitedly for the pages you know and chime in accordingly.  Mama was so proud that it only took you being shown one time and you picked up that sheep says “baa” (though yours is more of a short “ba” rather than the typical Baaaaa).  When I taught you what I fish says I just showed you the movement with my mouth, you giggled and did it right back at me.  You are such a copycat (I fear this will get you in trouble at times).

Your love of food was evident from the time you had your first jar of Gerber.  Fruit is still a big favorite – when you see bananas in the store you get excited, holler “nanna”, and point until we reach the display.  You like to hold the bananas as we go throughout the store as if they are a trophy you have just won.
There are days I look at you and still see my little baby; you still love your milk in a bottle on the morning car ride, you still have chubby round cheeks, your hair is slowly filling in but not enough to make you look older just yet.  I cling to these things as I know I will blink and you will be this tall young man.  Oh how I love the sound of you excitably saying “Mama” as I appear in the doorway each night, it warms my heart and I look forward to the smile that spreads across your face as you run to award me with hugs and slobbery kisses.  With every fiber of my being I love you sweet boy…you are my world, my soul, with you I have such purpose and I finally feel like I am who I was created to be.